As a recovering people pleaser, navigating my yes and no (and boundaries in general) is an ongoing learning journey. Sometimes in my anxiety to please, fear of missing out, or the shame of feeling different, I say yes to all the wrong things and no to all the right things. I’m most vulnerable when I’m tired and dysregulated. Then imaginary Laura shows up- the one I wish I was (usually a high energy, high capacity, task orientated human btw) instead of the person God actually made me to be. But often, when I slow down and honestly consider my life- my personality and temperament, my energy and capacity, my limits, my priorities and focus, and the cost and consequences of my yes or no (to both myself and those around me), a little transformation occurs. Instead of falling into an anxious shame-filled spiral, I find myself gently ambling in a much more spacious and open place. My pace slows, my body and spirit feel so light and free they begin to move and expand, and a deep sense of peace seems to softly envelop my whole being.  I am more patient, more loving, more present to those around me, and more aware and in tune with the Holy Spirit. And this, in turn, opens up all kind of unexpected opportunities and encounters. Of course, let’s keep it real- sometimes despite my best intentions, I still misjudge my capacity or life circumstances unexpectedly change. But in those moments I’m learning to lean in with love, self-compassion and courage and admit “I thought I could do this, I thought I had the capacity, but I was wrong.”

I love this quote from Parker Palmer:
“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
( as quoted by John Mark Comer in his book Practicing the Way)

Imagine what God could do if we started showing up to spaces rested, regulated and fully present? What might happen in our families, communities, places of work and churches? What a gift to offer!